The Torn Within
by P-Saiyan
Summary: A songfic (Metallica) about Vegeta's pride and despair


A disgrace, that's what I am. I let down my whole race, I let down my people. What's left for me now? I'm dead and so I should be. A disgrace, that's the only right word to describe me. I hate myself. I have always been full of dignity, full of pride. But now…  I should have been the one to defeat Frieza but he killed me. With the snap of his fingers, that easily. I couldn't even put up a proper fight, I couldn't even defend the pride of my people. I'm a prince! I should have protected them, I am to defend them! I am meant to look after my race, after my inheritance but I failed. I died by the hands of Frieza. 

_~ Forgive me father___

_~  For I have sinned___

Yes father, you told me stories about the level of the legendary Supersaiyan. You always thought they were stories but I have always sensed that they were true. And I knew that I would be the Chosen One. I knew that it was my destiny to lift the Saiyan race up to a level never seen before. The whole universe was to fear my reputation. No, instead of reaching the level, I had to watch in horror at Kakarot. Kakarot, you crushed my pride, you crushed my life, you crushed your whole race.

_~  Find me guilty of the life I feel within___

__

I wish I never was born.

_ ~ When I'm branded___

_~  This mark of shame___

The shame is too much to take. I should have been the one! I should have reached this level! I should have been the one to kill Frieza. It was my right, it was my task, it was my birthright! And you Kakarot, you came and didn't even hate me for what I had done. You're the hero everyone loves. You're the man who saves the universe time after time. You're the Saiyan who was able to defeat Frieza. The fight is still going on but you already won. There's no doubt about the outcome. You're disgusting. Are you a Saiyan? No, you're not. You're an earthling, you spent too much time with those weaklings. You didn't even know that you descended from the perfect race of warriors. You betrayed us! You have no right to call yourself a Saiyan, you're too soft, too naïve, too friendly, too merciful. I HATE YOU. Still, you're the one who achieved to reach the level of Supersaiyan. How the hell did you do that?! It's simply impossible. If I can't do it then a third-class warrior can't even come close.

_ ~ Should I look down disgraced___

_ ~ Or say I know that you must bleed___

Sacrificing yourself for your friends in your fight against your own brother. Protecting your family… Disgusting. Fucking Kakarot, how the hell could you do that! Throwing away your life so casual. Raditz should have killed you. Why is my life such a mess? Life I say but that's impossible. I'm dead and I'm here in the other world knowing that you are a Supersaiyan and that you're fighting Frieza. I know you can transform into a Supersaiyan every minute. Go to hell! I don't even know how this form looks like. I'm wondering, who am I?

_ ~ I am, I am the secret___

_~  I am, I am the sin___

_ ~ I am, I am the guilty___

_ ~ And I, I am the thorn within___

If only I could have another chance. I know I can ascend. If he can make it than I can do it too. I don't need a pure heart for that, I know I can do it with a heart filled with hatred. Still, it keeps eating me. Why couldn't I defend the pride of my people? Why couldn't I claim my birthright?

_ ~ Forgive me father___

 ~ For I have sinned 

_ ~ Find me guilty when true guilt is in from within___

__

I am guilty. I am fucking guilty! WHY? Why did a thirdclass warrior have to surpass me? Surpass ME, a superelite! I'm glad that my father isn't alive anymore, he wouldn't have been able to take the shame, the humiliation. What if he was still alive? I would have committed suicide I think. I see that irritating clown of a Kakarot in front of my eyes every time I wake up, every time I breath. Kakarot, I see you fucking laughing face in front of my eyes 24 hours a day. You laugh at me, you're challenging me. You're mocking me. 

__

_ ~ So point your fingers___

_ ~ Point right at me___

_ ~ For I am shadows and will follow you whatever I see in my way___

I'm just a shadow, I'm just walking in your footsteps. Even if I came back to life, what kind of life would that be? I would only walk in your shadow. You're the super hero, I'm just that pathetic creature that desperately tries to get some attention. Well, let me tell you; I AM NOT! I won't let this happen to me. I must be able to achieve a new level as well. Who am I then?

_ ~ I am, I am the secret___

_ ~ I am, I am the sin___

 ~ I am, I am the guilty 

_ ~ And I, I am the thorn within___

_~  I do your time___

_ ~ I take your fall___

_ ~ I'm branded guilty for a soul___

__

I scream. They're right. I am a pathetic fool. I am just a fool. I'm going insane, all I can think about is you Kakarot. I hate you.

_ ~ So point your fingers___

_ ~ Point right at me___

_~  For I am shadows and will follow you whatever I see in my way___

__

I am not planning on keeping walking in your shadow. I'm going to show you that you shouldn't underestimate me. I'm a Saiyan and Saiyans always get up. They bounce, that's what they do. I'm determined Kakarot. I will surpass you.

_ ~ I am, I am your secrets___

_ ~ I am, I am your sin___

_ ~ I am, I am your guilty___

_ ~ And I, I am the thorn within___

_ ~ I am the thorn within___

__


End file.
